


Paging Dr. Birthday

by writtenFIRES



Category: Real Person Fiction
Genre: Dismemberment, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Jacksepticeye egos, birthday fic, its robbie tho so its ok, needle mention, nudity mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-17
Updated: 2017-09-17
Packaged: 2018-12-30 23:32:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12119661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writtenFIRES/pseuds/writtenFIRES
Summary: It's Dr. Henrik von Schneeplestein's birthday, and all his fellow egos are trying to figure out how best to celebrate.





	Paging Dr. Birthday

**Author's Note:**

> Soooo yes. I know this is late. I know you're all screaming at me, "WHERE'S THE EMBRACING DARKNESS UPDATE." I'm sorry. Life's been crazy, and I haven't had much time or motivation to write. But I was determined to do something for the doc's birthday, even if it ended up getting posted two days later... oops....
> 
> But still! This is a good thing, because it means I'm getting my writing mojo back. Hopefully I'll have the new chapter out soon. In the meantime, I hope you enjoy some silly shenanigans with another set of egos. I struggled a bit with this but I'm very happy with the end result.
> 
> A very belated happy birthday to you, Dr. Henrik von Schneeplestein! May you continue keeping all our green beans safe, come Hell or glitch bitch.

"Alright, _listen_ , we gotta do this fer Schneeps. He's awesome, an' he keeps us put together, an' he jus' got outta havin' a bad rap with tha fans. He needs this. Especially after that video where Anti fucked wit'im."

Chase turned his head to shoot said glitch _a look_ , the other Jacksepticeye egos following suit. Well, except for Robbie, but he was a little slow on the uptake. They could forgive him for it and just left him to contentedly chew on the kitchen table.

Anti, for his part, merely sneered at the group and proceeded to flip them off, his entire form briefly glitching in place.

Chase sighed and slipped off his hat so he could run a hand through his hair, ruffling it up and scratching at his scalp. " _So_. Glitchy arseholes aside-"

"Inh͞a̵l̴e҉ ͝my҉ ̶ _d̷ong̴_ , C͟h͟a̕se."

"I can make confetti! And streamers. And sparks! I can even make tha candles light up when he comes in." Marvin was quick to offer, wiggling his fingers and grinning with a flourish."-we need a plan. At least some ideas on what ta _do_. What about a surprise party?"

Chase pointed at the eager magician with a happy nod. "Yes. Good. What else?"

"If you can bake a cake, I can decorate eet to perfection! _Mua_! _Tres magnifique_. My masterpiece." Jacques cut in, kissing his fingertips. He was quick to go back to doodling, though, shooing away a curious Robbie before he could drool all over his sketchbook.

"Okay, cake, I can do that. And Marv can help, right Marv?" Chase looked back to the magician again, who gave an enthusiastic nod and thumbs up. "Sweet. Okay. So..." Slowly, his blue eyes slid to Anti, who was still sitting huffy and with his arms crossed.

Anti met Chase's gaze for a singular moment, then looked away and curled his lip into a disdainful sneer. "͘F̶o̧o͠k̡ off͏.̧ ̛I͟ ̵aiņ't͏ d͞o͞i͏n͢' ̡sh͟it̵e ͟fer̛ ͞t͏h̸ąt lo̵ony͟ ̕b̢in̨.̴ ̢Hav̵e ̧f̴un͝ ̸scar̢i͠n' tha͡ piss͢ out̷ta̸ h̴įm ͟f͢er ̡me, a̧n͏d ̶pr̛ob͘a͠b̢ly ̧gett̛in͞' s͜tabbed̴ ͟wi̡t͜h a̶ ̛s̴ca̡lpe͡l͝ f͏er ye҉r͠ e̛f͞fo͟rt͘s. ͠I'm͘ ou͟t!" With that, Anti glitched out of the kitchen, leaving behind the buzz of static and taste of iron.

Chase sighed and slipped his hat back onto his head. "Welp. Was worth a shot, at least. I think a cake'll be present enough, since I don't really know what Schneeps likes besides... medical... shite. Y'know. So let's just bake him a cake. Jacques can decorate it, and..." His gaze slid to where Robbie sat, clearly zoned out and drooling onto the table. Chase scratched at one of his sideburns. "...maybe Robbie can help. Mostly let's just make sure he doesn't drool on tha cake or anythin'."

Robbie looked up at the sound of his name, grunting curiously. He didn't _quite_ understand what was going on, but it had something to do with the nice doctor who always stiched him back together when he fell apart. That and cake. Robbie liked cake. Maybe they would let him have some cake?

Before he could try to ask, there was the sudden crash of splintering wood from above. Chunks of debris and dust fell into the kitchen, frightening off those gathered at the table. Robbie ran out of the room with a lengthy cry, still heard quite clearly even after he'd gone down the hall. Marvin had his wand out at the ready, while Jacques and Chase coughed in the cloud of slowly settling dust.

"Who tha fook-"

"Greetin's, fellow citizens! Sorry I'm late, but I had ta save a train!" The confident form of Jackieboy stood upon the dust-strewn table, fists resting firmly on his hips. He wore a blinding grin, his head held high as if he hadn't just blasted a hole through their ceiling. "I heard we were makin' up plans for tha doc! I'm here ta offer my services."

Jacques wheezed, "Well ye can start by gettin' off _tha fookin' table_!"

* * *

 

In the end, Jackieboy was left to keep Schneep distracted and away from the kitchen. Which in hindsight, wasn't really all that hard, seeing as the doctor normally stayed cooped up in his office anyway. So Jackieboy's secondary task became keeping an eye out for any signs of sabotage from Anti, with a very minor tertiary task of corraling a hungry Robbie.

"Robbie, _no_ , yeh can't eat tha eggs or tha flour. Not only is it bad fer yeh, but they need it ta make tha cake!" Jackieboy tugged the drooling, wide-eyed zombie back from the kitchen for the sixth time. The sleeves of his suit were covered in zombie spit by now and he internally sighed, not looking forward to washing the spandex. "C'mon, let's find yeh somethin' ta chew on." The hero grunted, dragging Robbie off down the hall.

Chase felt a twinge of guilt at Robbie's needy grunts and disapppointed groans, but they could make it up to him with cake later. If they got that far. Pursing his lips into a frown, Chase scratched at his hairline, almost knocking off his hat in the process. He squinted down at the recipe on his phone and scowled. "This doesn't make any sense. This is stupid."

"I told yeh, I could always just..." Marvin began, giving his wand a little wiggle.

Chase immediately shook his head. " _No magic_. Yeh've never conjured food before, an' no offense Marv, but I really don't want ta poison tha doc on his birthday. Or... us. Besides, it takes some of tha thought outta it, doesn't it? Jus' summonin' one up? Like goin' to tha store an' buyin' one. It's just _cake_. We can figure this out." Maybe. Hopefully.

"Whossat big bakin' YouTuber? Tha one Mark likes ta do videos with?" Marvin suggested after more wasted time spent staring at the recipe and dully cracking eggs into a mixing bowl.

"Rosanna Pansino? Oh yeah! Yer right, she's probably got a whole _tutorial_ on bakin' a cake. Good one, Marv!"

Marvin beamed with happiness, and together the pair searched up the most appropriate video they could find. Her visual instructions made it a little easier. Soon enough, the cakes were in the oven, and the kitchen was an absolute disaster.

Chase and Marvin didn't look much better, and Chase laughed. "Yeh got egg on yer mask."

"Well you've got flour all over yer hat!" Marvin countered, grinning.

Chase removed his hat to find it had indeed changed into a different color, and together they both shared another laugh. Then he sighed and plopped his hat back on. "We're both a mess, and so's tha kitchen. I call tha shower first, then you should get one in before we throw tha big surprise. That way I'll be here ta check on tha cakes."

Marvin nodded. "I can try ta clean up a little in tha meantime. Magic's fine fer cleanin', right?" He put on his very best puppydog look and batted his eyelashes.

Chase snorted. "Yeah, yeah. But _only_ ta clean. Don't do anythin' ta tha cakes!" He pointed at Marvin with severity, and the magician gave an obedient nod.

"O' course, o' course. No magic cakes!"

"Good. I'll be back."

The moment Chase was out of sight, Marvin's angelic expression turned a tiny bit devious. He smirked at the oven and raised his wand. "No magic cakes. But magic oven? Didn't hear any rules about that...."

* * *

 

When Chase returned to the kitchen later, he was happy to find it spotless.

He was significantly less happy to find the cakes already out of the oven, having apparently _quadrupled in size_. And multiplied. Chase was distinctly sure they only put _two_ cakes in the oven, but the stack Jacques was busily decorating consisted of at least four or five.

Marvin, spying him, grimaced and was quick to duck past him out of the kitchen. "My turn ta shower! Gotta hurry before the party! Bye!" He was gone before Chase could really register the escape and try to stop him, thus leaving him alone with Jacques in the kitchen.

Chase sighed heavily and rubbed at his forehead. Sometimes, it felt like he had an entirely _new_ set of kids to care for. Oh well. There was no real fixing it now. Especially since Jacques appeared to be "in the zone." Once the artsy ego got going, it was hazardous to try and stop him. Like stopping a speeding train, really. Last time Chase tried to ask him something while Jacques was in the middle of painting a portrait, he'd nearly gotten a paintbrush shoved up his nose.

Jacques was humming to himself, smearing acidic green frosting along the stack of cakes. He was hardly a baker or cake decorator, but he was the most creative out of them all. Chase wouldn't have given the important task to anyone else. Still, he felt it necessary to ask...

"You, uh... yer usin' _food colorin'_ , right?"

Jacques only response was to grunt his irritation at being interrupted and wave a hand. Chase wasn't sure if that meant "shoo" or "yes" but he was going to take it as the latter. Another word and he might end up with a pastry bag tip shoved somewhere very unpleasant.

"Robbie, _no_ , yeh can have cake later, I promise! Righ' now Jacques has gotta work! C'mon..." Jackieboy whined as he barely caught a sprinting Robbie under the armpits. Chase had stumbled back, surprised by the zombie's efforts.

His surprise redoubled when Robbie's arms popped right off.

" _Fook_ -"

"Jackie!"

"It was an _accident_. I ferget he can jus' fall apart like that!"

"Well stop'im, he's gonna get to tha cake!"

"CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE." Robbie stumbled towards the monstrosity Marvin had cultivated, jaw hanging and drool flowing freely. He might not have had arms anymore, but that was hardly going to stop him.

Thankfully, Jacques was _not_ intimidated by a hungry zombie. The moment he heard someone drawing near, he whipped around and stuck his frosting-coated spatula in the ego's face. Robbie was so stunned by the move that he actually _stopped_ , staring at the spatula with wide, confused eyes. " _No_. Bad zombie. Zat is a very, very bad zombie! Down boy! Heel! Go! Shoo-shoo! Begone from zis masterpiece! It ees not yet completed! Shoo!"

Robbie whined, then whimpered as the spatula was waved about in his face. He ducked away from it, tantalizing as the sweet smell of frosting could be, then turned tail and ran away again.

Chase watched him go, then looked down at the fallen limbs. He nudged one with a foot.

Jackie mimicked him, but with less limb nudging. "I should... probably..."

"...go give him his arms back, yeah. At least it'll keep Schneep distracted."

* * *

 

Schneep sighed while he diligently sewed Robbie's arms back to his shoulders. It had almost become busy work for him; a task he completed dozens of times a month. He could probably do it with his eyes closed at this point.

Jackieboy was no stranger to his clinic either. If the superhero wasn't coming in after a scrape with "evil-doers" or a crash landing, then he was bringing in one of the others. Robbie was, indeed, the likely suspect. Today was no different. Still, it was quite the feat that Robbie had managed to lose _both_ arms at once. At least it prevented him from messing around with Schneep's supplies.

"Und just _how_ did he manage to lose zem zis time?"

Jackieboy rubbed at the back of his neck, expression sheepish. "Oh, y'know... zombie things. Think he mighta been chasin' somethin'."

"Hmph." Schneep squinted at his stitching, then clipped the excess. He moved on to the other shoulder but not before shooting Jackieboy a suspicious frown. He was acting strangely. "Und you just happened to find heem like zis?"

"Uh, yup! Definitely. Had nothin' ta do with the accident at all."

"...right. Of course."

Robbie burbled out some nonsense while he tested his reattached arm. It thumped repeatedly against the little table until Schneep grabbed for it, pressing it down.

"Stop."

Robbie grunted at him, but seemed to listen- for the moment. Schneep had barely gone back to stitching when Robbie's arm flung out, knocking over an entire cup of tongue depressors. Schneep released a guttural cry of frustration.

"I got it, doc!" Jackieboy was quick on the draw, scooping up the wooden sticks and dumping them back into the cup. Robbie burbled and slapped his hand against the table in response; clearly amused and impressed. Jackieboy had to smile at the child-like behavior. "Gotta be careful, Robbie. Don't wanna break anything now." He reached out to ruffle the zombie's hair, resulting in multiple happy noises coupled with a dopey grin.

Schneep scoffed. "He should focus on not breakeeng heemself."

Jackieboy may have just been reading too into things as he was wont to do, but it sounded like Schneep was more agitated than usual. The doctor was almost always a salty individual, but this level of hostility was... out of the ordinary. Especially towards Robbie. Good thing they had a special surprise planned! Surely that would lift Schneep's dampened spirits. "Hey, at least he's easy ta put back together."

Schneep scrunched up his nose. "Yes... und drool is easier to get out of clothes zan blood."

* * *

 

Once Marvin was showered and the cake was completed, it was simply a matter of dressing up the kitchen. Between the three egos, it proved to be, well... a piece of cake. Marvin conjured up a majority of what they needed, or they dug it out of the closets from previous parties. Jacques told them where to hang what and kept everything in a healthy balance of color.

The cake itself shone like a brilliant beacon in the center of the kitchen, all greens and blues with little Sam's piped here and there. Jacques had done his best to add on some medical things like giving the Sam's surgical masks, stenciling out makeshift syringes and scalpels and even writing out "Happy Birthday!" in a lovely white script at the top. He'd really outdone himself. Chase had no doubt Schneep was going to love it.

"Okay, so I texted Jackie, an' he should be showin' up any time with tha doc. We gotta dim tha lights an' get into positions fer the big surprise! So find a good hidin' spot an' wait until tha lights come on to jump out, got it?"

The other two nodded. Marvin gave a little swish of his cape, and just like that disappeared in a puff of smoke. Dramatic, but effective. Jacques, on the other hand, was all drama and... almost zero effect. He hid behind a chair. Chase supposed it would do and slipped into the cupboard, leaving the door cracked to see.

The seconds stretched into what felt like minutes, then hours, with those gathered practically holding their breaths in anticipation. Their ears were primed to catch the softest squeak of floorboards, but it honestly took so long Chase was about ready to shoot Jackieboy another text. It was in that exact moment they heard the voices; several sets of footsteps accompanying them towards the kitchen.

"Jackie, honestly, zere is a coffee machine een my clinic!" Schneep sounded exasperated. Hopefully the surprise and cake would be enough to make up for whatever tactics Jackieboy had used to keep him occupied.

"Well, yeah, but tha one in tha kitchen makes _such better coffee_. I mean, yeh can taste tha difference. Besides, 's always good ta get up an' stretch yer legs a little bit."

"I am on my feets all ze time, Jackieboy. I hardly need more exercise."

"Of course. I just... I meant..."

"CAKE." _Robbie_. He was going to blow their cover!

"Ca-?" Schneep began, tone questioning, only to be abruptly cut-off by Jackieboy.

"Oh! Right! It was cake he chasin' after, before. Y'know, when he ripped his arms off? Poor thing must still be cravin' it, ahaha...."

There was silence, but Chase knew Schneep; he was probably squinting at Jackieboy with the upmost skepticism. He wanted to smack his forehead. Why, oh why, did all of them have to be so bad at lies and deception? Well, except for Anti, but he didn't count. Not as if he wanted anything to do with this, anyway.

Thankfully, Schneep didn't have anymore time to consider what Jackieboy might be trying to hide. At that moment, the kitchen light switched on. "Vhy is eet zo dark een here?"

"SURPRISE!"

Chase leapt out of the cupboard, arms flung wide with a grin on his face. He glanced across the kitchen, hoping the others had remembered their cue. Jacques was on his feet, gesturing towards the cake he'd spent painstaking hours on. And in another puff of smoke, Marvin reappeared, his cape swishing and wand raised. Just like that, bright green confetti rained from the ceiling, and the candles scattered about the cake lit up.

"Surprise...!" Jackieboy tacked on a few seconds later, giving some jazz hands and a sheepish grin of his own.

Robbie grunted, eyeing the cake, but apparently he'd learned his lesson.

Schneep openly gawked at it all. His stunned expression wasn't hindered in the slightest, as he'd removed his surgical mask for a nice coffee break. There was confetti in his hair but he either didn't notice or ignored it in favor of looking around to take it all in. He was speechless.

Chase's grin faltered when more than a minute had passed without some reaction from the doctor. He glanced at the other egos anxiously, and wasn't sure if he felt relief or more concern when his anxiety was mirrored back to him. Was this a mistake? Did Schneep hate it? Was he upset and just trying not to let it loose in front of everyone? Maybe Anti was right. Maybe this was a bad idea.

Robbie's drool dripping to the linoleum was the only sound, the zombie valiantly holding himself off. He only had eyes for the cake, though, completely oblivious to the growing awkward tension. _Cake_.

Finally, Chase began to lower his arms, expression crumpled into uncertainty and regret. "Do... you... _not_ like it...?" The others followed his actions, dropping their arms. Marvin began to fidget with his cape.

Schneep blinked rapidly, as if coming out of a trance. The action finally dislodged the tears which had been gathered in his blue eyes; a thin film too transparent to be seen. They dripped down his cheeks and he slowly lifted a hand, touching at the wetness on his face. He looked as stunned as the rest of them. "Oh."

Chase tensed, his hands flying up. " _Doc_. Fook, doc, I'm sorry, I just thought- fook." He stepped forward, unsure of what to do but wanting to help.

"I knew zis was a bad idea!" Jacques bemoaned dramatically, though he'd said absolutely nothing of the sort prior to right this very moment.

"Oh no doc don't cry! Don't cry!" Marvin rushed forward as well, expression pained and guilty.

Jackieboy clutched at his head with a grimace. "Ahhhh _fook_ , we made Schneeps cry, I can't believe we fooked up _that badly_." What to do? What to do? He was a _hero_! He should know this!

Robbie blinked at all of the commotion, turning around with a grunt. He tilted his head, watching the other egos hover around the doctor. No cake?

"Doc..." Chase tried again, his heart aching as he watched the ego brush more tears off his face. "Henrik, I'm sorry, I thought..." He trailed off, intially because he thought Schneep was starting to sob. His heart almost broke, but then he and the others realized it wasn't _sobs_ bubbling past Schneep's lips, but _laughter_. Chase's blue eyes went wide; all the egos visibly flummoxed.

It took Schneep a few moments to form words between the laughter, and when he did manage it they were breathless; his tone giddy. There were still a few tears trickling down his cheeks but now the others were understanding them to be tears of _joy_. "No, no, no. You misunderstand. I am not upset! No! I am zo _happy_. I am..." He huffed out a breath, his broad grin making his eyes crinkle at the corners. "...I vas beginning to zink you all forgot, to be honest, I..." Schneep shook his head. "I vas not expecteeng a party like this, or cake, but just a 'happy birthday' or two...."

The words clicked in Jackieboy's brain, and suddenly he comprehended the cause of Schneep's prickly attitude earlier. He was upset that no one had stopped by to at least wish him a happy birthday. And when he registered the fact they'd gone above and beyond, throwing him a party, he'd just been too stunned to say anything. Stunned to tears, apparently. Jackieboy's heart performed a somersault in his chest. "Doc..."

"Don't look at me, I am a hideous mess! All zese snot und tears, agh. I need a tissue." Schneep sniffed, still scrubbing at his reddened face. The tension in room dissipated like air leaking from a balloon.

Chase smiled, and then he chuckled a bit himself. Relief flooded his system as he took off his hat to run fingers through his hair. "Henrik. C'mon. As if we'd ferget your birthday! We jus' wanted ta make it extra special."

"I'm glad yer not cryin' 'cause yer upset, but here." Marvin pulled a tissue from his sleeve after a bit of fancy handwork, passing it off to the sniffling doctor with a gentle smile. "We'd never forget your birthday, Schneep. Yeh do too much fer us."

"A cake is ze least you deserve." Jacques tacked on, having recovered from his dramatic display.

Robbie _still_ didn't know the specifics of what was going on, but he grunted and nodded emphatically. Everyone was saying good things about the doctor, and he agreed.

Jackieboy laughed and gave Schneep a hearty slap on the back. "Yeh big sap! Lookit you, cryin' like a little kid. You underestimate us." He only beamed when Schneep sent him a look over his shoulder, giving a wink and cute two-fingered salute.

Schneep scoffed, taking a moment to blow his nose one more time before discarding the tissue. "Alright, alright, zo I vas mistaken. One of very few mistakes I am glad for. I only hope ze wax deed not ruin zis cake. Eet is enormous!"

It was Chase's turn to shoot Marvin a look, who grinned sheepishly. "I uh... mighta fiddled with tha oven... a bit. But like I said, yeh deserved a fantastic cake! No- a _magnificent_ cake! Jacques did a great job decoratin', an' don't worry about tha candles. Magic fire means no melty wax. Bit of a trick I've been workin' on." He gave a wink of his own, grinning.

" _Please_ , it was nozing! Child's play!" Jacques was silently preening at the praise, though, everyone could see it.

Schneep shook his head, but he was still smiling as he stepped closer to the cake. The others gathered around, Robbie showing brilliant self-control by not shoving his face into it straight away. "Eet's amazing. All of zis is. Zank you, all of you."

"Happy birthday, Schneeps. Blow out tha candles and make a wish!"

"Happy birthday, Schneep. Make it a good one."

"Good luck blowing them all out at once. Happy birthday."

"Caaaaake." Robbie grunted, turning to smile at Schneep. "Birfday."

Schneep chuckled. "Yes. Yes eet is, Robbie." The sheer size of the cake and the number of candles was a little intimidating, but Schneep was determined. He drew in a deep breath, prepared to try his best, when suddenly the very top of the cake exploded outwards. He choked on the breath he'd taken, shocked, stumbling backwards and sputtering. "Vhat-"

Frosting spotted everyone, and the furniture, but that was the extent of the damage. Multiple sets of blue eyes squinted up at the top of the cake, flabbergasted, but the cause of the explosion was immediately obvious. There, with his naked upper half sticking out from the top of the cake, was none other than Anti. Frosting and bits of cake were smeared all over his skin, his green hair sticking to his face. He bore the biggest grin of all while he flung his arms out to either side in a clear show of "Here I am!".

_**"ANTI?!"** _

"̧Su͢r̶prise! ̧I̸ ch͢ange͞d ͡my ͏m̶i͜n͠d̶.͢ ͏De̡cid͢ed͜ ҉to͟ ̡ _dro̸p͘ in_ on̢ ̨you̴r ͏li͝ttle̛ pa̛rty͡ aft͢e̡r ҉all͞. I ͝h̢eard ̧t̢h̕is ̢w͝a̴s͘ ̶a ͝p͡opu̕l͢a̧r͏ th͠i̸ng ͟to d͝o͠, ̡f͢er̴ gi͡ant̕ ̷cak͜es͢.̢ F̕ig̵u̕r͞ed̶ ͞y͠o̴u'҉d ͟a̧p̴p̧rec̢iat̶e͏ it̕.͡" Anti glitched a bit, his head jerking to one side while he leered down at the doctor.

Schneep's face looked torn between paling and being flustered, rapidly flickering between white and red. He sputtered again, absolutely floored. "Did you all plan zis?!"

"NO!" Chase was quick to deny involvement, though it was also obvious he was having a hard time swallowing down his laughter. "Anti wanted nothin' ta do with yer party!"

 _"Mon dieu!"_ Jacques pressed the back of his wrist to his forehead and made a show of fainting, Jackieboy faithfully running over to "catch" him.

The superhero rolled his eyes. "For fook's sake, Anti."

"W͟hąt̶? Yo̡u w͢anted̷ a ̷su͝rp̴r͡i̢se,̧ I̷ gave̛ it͝ ͜to͝ y͟ou! ͝Y̢ou͝ ̨şhǫuld be ͏t̨ḩan͟king me̶!"

"Uh. I just... I was wonderin'...." All eyes turned to a fidgeting Marvin, the barest hint of his blush visible under the lip of his mask. "Are you... _completely naked_?"

That was clearly something no one else had thought of, as all eyes turned to Anti again; wide with disbelief. The glitch poked his tongue out, arms crossing over his chest.   
"O̧f co͠urs̷e͡.̵ ͏Ho͝w̷ else̵ would ye͝h ̡do ̧it?"

 _"Mon dieu!"_ Jacques cried again, falling heavier into a flustered Jackieboy's arms."Oh god." Chase tugged the brim of his hat down over his face.

"Zat is disgusting!" Schneep shouted, pulling a face.

Anti scowled, his expression darkening. "W͠e ͡all ha͠ve̢ ̡t̴ha̷ sąme̢ b̨ody̨! ̛I͡t's͟ n̕o̵t̕ ̵g҉on̴na͘ ͞k҉i͏ll ̶yeh! L͘o̵ok̶- ͢Rob̛bie'҉s eat̛in'̷ i̢t!"͜ He pointed to where the zombie was buried to his shoulders in the sweet confection, finally caving to his desires.

Suddenly, no one really seemed to mind. Chase pushed his hat back up with a sigh, turning to leave the kitchen. "Welp. Guess we're gonna go buy a cake. C'mon everybody, I think tha bakery down the street's still open."

"Yes, good, I second zis idea. Perhaps ve can even get zome dinner." Schneep was quick to follow Chase out, Marvin at his heels.

Jackieboy hefted Jacques up into his arms bridal-style. "Let's go, princess. Have fun with Robbie, Anti! Don't make anymore of a mess." He trailed after the other three, Jacques more than content to be carried as he blew the glitch a farewell kiss over Jackieboy's shoulder.

_"Salut!"_

  
"͞He҉y͝! Wait!͞ Y͘e̛ a͠r͞se̴h͞o̸le̵s!͟ ̴C͢o͘m͡e bac͝k h̴e̡r͘e! ̸Ye͝h͠ ̡c͘an't j̸ust͡ c͡h͏a̸nge̡ y̵er m͢in҉ds! H̸ȩy̷!" Anti gripped at the top layer of cake, glowering after their retreating forms. Figured, that's what he got for actually trying to "participate" and "help out." Ungrateful bastards. He huffed, shifting to rest his forearms on the cake instead, looking down to where his zombie companion was still happily eating away.  
"͞Well̨.̴ ͏L̶eas̷t ̷I'̕m͡ no҉t̷ ̴a͠l҉on͡e,̸ ̡I͡ g͜u̴e͜şs.̴ Th͠in͜k҉ ̶ye͘h̛ c̢an̴ ̧eat̛ ҉tha̸ w̧hole t̵hing҉, R͜obb̡i̵e?͜"

Robbie's head popped up from a different layer, his body positively coated in bright green frosting and a half-decayed grin on his pale face. "Cake!"


End file.
